Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Moving On

It is strange being out of school.....I am certainly not where I want to be right now, but I know I have the skills to do better, I just need to figure out how to go about doing that. I especially need to figure out how to stay motivated to draw and take pictures with the limited time available to me, last little while I have been so exhausted from working, mostly because it is physically demanding that even on my days off I don't seem to have enough energy to do much. When I do I spend it applying for teaching jobs, so I really don't have much time off....most days I just want to sleep and not wake up. So this is why motivation is difficult.....I need to find a way to not feel mired down, I'm trying some self-hypnosis stuff, but that doesn't seem to have any real lasting effect....but even extending the placebo effect would be better than nothing. Student loans are coming due and most of them don't want to grant forbearance even though I'm making squat, just enough to get by on....so I can understand the desire to just pull the covers over my head and say enough. Not much more to say at this point.....just that it feels like my creative energy has been sucked out of me.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Final Stretch

Last three months of school.....my Concepts of Art wraps in two weeks and we have an art history comprehensive, then April I have another comprehensive that covers my major, which is due no later than the 16th (I only get 5 days to write about it though). I meet with my advisor the end of this week to select images, then I need to cut mats, do prints, order special prints frame everything and then have them ready to show on the 24th of April, that's when my MFA show starts, and we have an opening reception on the 27th of April from 6:30 to 9:30. This is the same night as the Spring Gallery Walk here in Hays, but my show is on campus at the Robbins Center, which is a little out of the way. I will also be displaying 15 Black and White high contrast images on the projection screen.

After this is done I have an Oral exam to discuss my work and show...*sigh*...and as soon as I get at least one more letter of reference I can resume my job hunt for teaching positions. Needless to say that despite all the work its taken to get here, the job hunt is both the scariest and most frustrating.

I discovered that I managed to win first place in the State of Kansas in Web Stories on a piece I did for News Reporting last semester on Habitat for Humanity. They will be putting the story up for the National awards...being as I didn't really expect to get something for writing and production, this is a nice surprise.

Got a new book I would recommend to anyone who uses a camera, especially those of you who like taking people pictures. It's called "Picture Perfect Practice", by Roberto Valenzuela. I have just started it and its already been very helpful, especially in the way its set up.

It might help me nudge my work just that little bit to get past the barrage of finalist positions and actually win more competitions, that would be awesome.

I wish I could shake this feeling of ennui though.....it has been a struggle to even get a few pieces finished, let alone try and do anything really outside the box.....ideas seem to solidify and just as I try and sketch them out they drift away like smoke.....and when I'm not beating my head in trying to make the creative energies swirl, I feel like I'm circling a huge drain and am going to get sucked in never to be seen again.....some call it the artists curse.....dunno what it is, but it can go away anytime now.