Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Moving On

It is strange being out of school.....I am certainly not where I want to be right now, but I know I have the skills to do better, I just need to figure out how to go about doing that. I especially need to figure out how to stay motivated to draw and take pictures with the limited time available to me, last little while I have been so exhausted from working, mostly because it is physically demanding that even on my days off I don't seem to have enough energy to do much. When I do I spend it applying for teaching jobs, so I really don't have much time off....most days I just want to sleep and not wake up. So this is why motivation is difficult.....I need to find a way to not feel mired down, I'm trying some self-hypnosis stuff, but that doesn't seem to have any real lasting effect....but even extending the placebo effect would be better than nothing. Student loans are coming due and most of them don't want to grant forbearance even though I'm making squat, just enough to get by on....so I can understand the desire to just pull the covers over my head and say enough. Not much more to say at this point.....just that it feels like my creative energy has been sucked out of me.